


Meet me tonight, you know the place...

by Magentas_Nightmare



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Feminism, Love, Protection, trigger warning for abortion, trigger warning for abuse, trigger warning for insensitivity surrounding mental illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:24:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22620181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magentas_Nightmare/pseuds/Magentas_Nightmare
Summary: It's 1937 and in Saskatchewan, Canada a woman is struggling in an abusive marriage when she makes a decision that will leave her at death's door and then in even further danger as she fights back against the cards she's been dealt. Only her own wits and a kind stranger can help turn things around in a world and time where she is being erased from society for "bad" behaviour.
Relationships: ???, Carol Peletier/Ed Peletier
Comments: 14
Kudos: 9





	1. (Prologue)

_**Meet me tonight, you know the place...** _

**Chapter 1 (Prologue)**

**October 1937 Weyburn, Saskatchewan. Canada**

* * *

Golden-brown leaves blew across dead grass on the front lawn, it was late autumn now and her eyes followed one particular leaf with envy burning in her heart. The leaf could move with the wind; it was dead, but it was free.

Her hands moved without looking as they folded his underwear, threadbare tea towels, washcloths, and then the tops of his socks inside out to keep them in pairs. Her head was still thumping from some early morning hostility, but they were out of Aspirin, so she was destined to grin and bear it. Ed had taken her face in his hands and banged her head against the kitchen cupboards, it was a new move for him that she hadn’t seen coming. Carol had misplaced his bankbook, at least that was the story. The truth was that he’d left it in his truck and blamed it on her out of sheer convenience. Carol was an excellent scapegoat.

She carried the laundry to its designated rooms and then piled Ed’s grey work shirts on the ironing board to finish the job. Her eyes focused on the fire in the woodstove for a moment as a small stick turned from brown to dark grey to red and then black, finally ending in dusty white ash. Carol wondered how long she would burn before ending in dust and ash. She grabbed a potholder to lift the wood stove plate to cover the burner then rested her mother’s heavy old iron on top to heat up.

A woman from the next town over was coming to the house later that day and she radiated with anxiety at what she was about to do. Ed was gone on an overnight sales trip, but he would occasionally have his friends drive past to ensure she was alone while he was away. She was never completely unguarded. No man would dare come near her, but it made no difference to Ed.

Carol was instructed by the woman she’d never met in person to collect a bar of soap, a clean basin and a bulb syringe with rubber tubing. Her hands shook uncontrollably as the hour drew near and she awaited a knock on the door. There was no way she would bring a child into her hell with her. What she was doing was illegal and medically dangerous, but she felt she had no choice. She was trapped unless death took mercy on her, but she could never condemn a child to Ed's wrath.

Carol was only 23 years old, and she felt as though the best years were far behind her already. Something had to give. The pressure was about to send her sinking below the surface for good.

#########

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he demanded the next evening as Carol struggled to stay standing.

“Nothing, dear…just lady problems. I’ll be right as rain in the morning,” she insisted.

Ed scoffed and pried the bottle top off his next beer.

“Since when are you so soft about such things,” he muttered.

Carol was sure she was dying and felt a strange sense of peace about it. What happened to her the day before was surely not safe and ever since she had been cramping and bleeding uncontrollably. A steady fever was beginning to set in and it was evident that infection was now permeating her system. She deserved it for the sin she had committed so she didn’t feel too much fuss over the matter. It was an ugly ending to her life, but an ending that she needed desperately.

“You look like hell, woman,” Ed sneered as he walked to the icebox for something to eat.

“I’ll be fine…can I get you anything?” she asked, but then she felt a wave of nausea and for a second her vision went blurry.

“Carol?”

“Ed…”

“What’s wrong with you?”

For a second, he sounded genuinely concerned, almost loving. She liked the idea of her last memory of him being sweet, even if it wasn’t true. Ed cared nothing for her and probably never had. His voice was coming at her through a tunnel it seemed, and she grinned as she felt herself slide to the floor, she’d be dead soon and free as the golden-brown leaf dancing over the grass outside the window. Carol lay down on the cool tile and sighed happily to herself as she slipped away…


	2. Valley View

_**Meet me tonight, you know the place...** _

**Chapter 2 (Valley View)**

* * *

“Ma’am?”

Stiff cotton material on her skin felt like a brown paper bag as she fought the innate urge to open her eyes to sunlight.

“Ma’am.”

“Mmmm.”

“Wake up. Your vital signs are stable now and there is much to discuss. You’ve been here three days and two nights barely clinging to life after your own stupidity.”

“I have nothing to say,” she uttered with her eyes still closed.

Carol refused to take the judgment of people who hadn’t lived her nightmare.

“You must know that what you did was illegal and immoral, Mrs. Peletier.”

“Perhaps in your eyes.”

“In everyone’s eyes, Ma’am.”

The doctor standing over her was likely in his 70s and regarded her with dismay and disgust.

“I won’t be judged by you or anyone,” she growled. “I would sooner die than bring that man a child to abuse.”

“Your husband says he wasn’t even aware of the pregnancy.”

“That man is the devil. I hate what I did, but I’d hate myself more for bringing a child into that house.”

“You should be locked up for what you’ve done, but we have an alternative that fits your behaviour more suitably I believe. Your husband was good enough to seek treatment for you, rather than have you punished by the law. He says you aren’t well in the head.”

“He doesn’t know the first thing about me,” she stated. “I don’t need any kind of treatment.”

“You procured a procedure that nearly killed you, Ma’am. You aren’t fit to be among civilized people in your husband’s opinion and I happen to agree.”

It dawned on her then what was happening, and her heart drained of hope and immediately filled with anxiety.

“You don’t mean…”

“They will be able to help you at Valley View, Mrs. Peletier. You should also seek the counsel of your priest,” he added with a sneer of disdain.

“I sought the counsel of my priest when my precious husband dislocated my shoulder and insisted on correcting it himself, it took over an hour and I passed out from the pain. I asked the priest for help and he instructed me to bear my burden with grace!” she shouted.

Raising her voice to a doctor wasn’t going to help her situation but she knew it was already decided anyhow. She was now one of those women who would be hidden from the world, a woman to be forgotten.

Valley View was just outside the city limits of Weyburn and she’d never leave there. Nobody ever left Valley View if the rumours were to be believed.

“You’re sending the wrong person there. Ed is the one who needs his head examined, not me.”

“He’s not the killer, you are. A husband with a temper is no reason for you to act in such a grisly manner. You’ll be taken there tonight, and I would think on your hysterical behaviour before they admit you. They will not take that kind of disruption at Valley View with a smile, Ma’am.”

“You can kiss my ass,” she seethed through trembling lips.

Her smart mouth was all she had now. She never dared to say such a thing to Ed, but now the whole world could go to hell.

Carol didn’t plan to reside in a place like Valley View for long, surely there was a length of rope or a razorblade somewhere within its cold brick exterior.

###############

They must have suspected a fight because she was sedated before transport, something slipped into her drink without her knowledge.

When her eyes opened, it was morning and she was in a cold room all alone. A rough wishy-washy green gown was draped over her nude body and she sat up with a start, gasping for air with prickly fear coursing through her extremities.

Moaning sounds outside the door revealed her location to her with stark reality, Valley View Mental Hospital just outside Weyburn, Saskatchewan. She’d been there only once to deliver a letter for her father to a psychiatrist but remembered the long treelined driveway with harsh clarity. The sheer size of the place was mind-boggling, she’d never seen anywhere so massive in all her life. The buildings housed over 3000 patients and staff, as well as the nurses who were trained and lived on-site in separate dormitories. From first glance, it appeared to be a prison. The place had frightened her then and she had only stopped by at the reception desk for a moment. A man in faded brown trousers had stared at her from down a dim hallway and then traced lines in the design of the wallpaper with his finger as she avoided eye contact. The man had no shirt on and as she finished up speaking to the secretary, he made a sexual gesture to her and licked his lips. An orderly had come upon him then and shuffled him back to whatever ward he had wandered from like a dirty secret, but she had seen what lay behind the sterile façade of Valley View. Carol was now one of them, perhaps the man from the hallway was her new neighbour.

A knock at the door startled her and she realized there were no windows in the room, she had no idea who was coming in.

“Who is it?” she asked, her tone revealing her apprehension.

“Dr. Mavis Stockton.”

A female in her 50s entered the room and stood at the foot of the bed as Carol pulled the scratchy gown around her shoulders.

“Can I have a brazier, please? This material is so harsh.”

She wasn’t getting one and she knew it, but she asked anyway.

“Perhaps we can find a t-shirt, braziers aren’t allowed for obvious reasons,” the doctor explained.

“What reasons?”

She wanted to know if the ones in charge recognized a bra as an excellent tool for suicide; unfortunately, they did. She wouldn’t have the option of hanging herself with the garment.

“A sin got you in here, and we won’t allow another sin to get you out. You aren’t well, Carol.”

She was no longer ‘Mrs. Peletier’ she was Carol.

“I’m perfectly well, Doctor. I know full well that abortion is a sin, but so is beating your wife to a pulp whenever it tickles you.”

“That isn’t the attitude that will get you out of here, Carol.”

“We both know I’m not going anywhere,” Carol retorted. “Nobody ever leaves this place, I’ve heard all about how you people operate.”

“Some do leave, but I can see that you aren’t ready for treatment. This place can help you if you only give in to it.”

Carol could only glare at her and the absurdity of locking up sane people with the mentally ill in hopes of curing an illness in them that didn’t exist.

“Do you know that this place is a monument to the latest in mental healthcare? Nearly a thousand train cars of material were used in the construction of this building. There were 4,294,000 bricks laid in the process and the entire building covers 257,500 square feet. It cost $2,250,00 to construct Valley View, and all in the hopes of helping the likes of you. We have some of the finest psychiatrists in the country on staff, we are utilizing the most up to date techniques to cure unfortunate people like yourself. Do you not feel at least a little gratitude to be in such a place?”

“I am not sick, so I do not feel even the slightest gratitude at having my liberty signed away on my behalf,” she growled.

“You committed a crime, an immoral and detestable crime. You really should reconsider your position.”

“Can’t you just leave me be?” she asked.

“Being left to oneself is not something we specialize in here. You’ll have plenty of company after a bracing shower and placement on the ward.”

“I don’t need a shower,” she shot back.

Carol knew that a shower in a place like Valley View wouldn’t be a private or pleasant experience.

“Don’t fight me, Carol. You aren’t in charge here and the sooner you see that the more peaceful your days will be.”

“Don’t touch me!” she warned.

“I’m not planning to.” Dr. Stockton rolled her eyes as if laying hands on a patient was beneath her, “Orderly!”

Carol heard boots in the corridor and edged back on the thin mattress as if it would help. A big man entered the room and was ordered to take her to the shower room and then to the wing where women were situated.

“I’ll see you in a few days to ensure that your infection is fully cleared. We treated you for the mess you made of yourself, dear. Perhaps when you’re ready, you could express some gratitude,” the doctor grinned.

“Go to hell!” she screamed as Dr. Stockton turned and casually walked away. “You can go to hell for all I care!”

Then her rage was directed at the man before her.

“Don’t you touch me! Don’t you dare touch me!”

The orderly made no move toward her, but he did close the door to the room.

“If you aren’t quiet, they’ll make me inject you with a sedative. Please don’t make me do that,” the man begged.

“What?” she gasped.

“I know you’re not insane, please don’t make me do that,” he pleaded.

“What are they going to do to me?”

“I have to take you to the showers,” he explained, ”I’ll turn around, just don’t try to off yourself or anything. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Carol was utterly dismayed at the stranger offering to treat her as a human being and followed him blindly out the door.

The man looked about 25 years old with a brush cut and strong arms. He was dressed in white pants and a white dress shirt with a black belt and shoes and she walked a few feet behind him down the hallway.

“Who do we have here?” a woman in a nursing uniform asked when they arrived at the shower area.

“New patient for the women’s ward on the third floor. She’s compliant,” he nodded.

“That’s what I like to hear,” the nurse smiled.

Carol was led into a room with showerheads in the walls and drains in the floors and asked to undress.

“I have to give you a uniform,” the man said as he turned his back as promised. “Is there anything else you need?”

“A bra?”

“I think I can find one in the laundry area but don’t advertise that you’re wearing it,” he warned. ”We’ll both be in deep trouble then.”

“I won’t let anyone see it…thank you.”

“No problem.”

“Why do you work here?” she asked as cool water began to trickle down on her head.

“I won’t be soon, I hate it here. I need to leave while I’m still sane myself.”

“I can see why.”

“This place is hell…I thought I’d be helping people, but that’s not what they do here.”

“You shouldn’t help me after what I did, but I appreciate it.”

“I know what you did…and I get it.”

“What?”

“Everyone knows what you did, it’s all over town now. I know that people are going to be harsh with you and I don’t think it’s right.”

“What’s your name?” she almost wept.

“Merle Dixon.”

“I’m Carol.”

“I know, you’re infamous already.”

“Jesus,” Carol groaned.

She finished up showering as she stared at the stranger’s back and took a towel from a rack next to the door to dry off.

“Are you decent?” he asked after a minute and she adored the stranger for not forcing her to be nude before him.

“Yes.”

“You’ll have to wait in the locker room for a moment in the towel, but I’ll run down and grab you a uniform and try to find you a bra.”

“Bless you,” she smiled.

“It’s nothing.”

“No, it’s everything. I really mean that," she insisted.


	3. There's a Door

_**Meet me tonight, you know the place...** _

**Chapter 3 (There's a Door)**

* * *

“Checks.”

Carol was woken up in the dark and a flashlight was shined across the rows of beds where she had somehow managed to fall asleep. Valley View was an incredibly loud place and the overcrowding was appropriately insane. If she reached out her hand, she could touch the bed next to hers, but she dare not do that. The elderly woman now sleeping there had cried for 3 hours straight before finally dozing off. All around her were forgotten women, 40 in total, all sleeping in one room row by row. Constant shifting, clearing of throats, moaning and conversations directed at persons who may not even be present for all she knew; Carol was terrified.

She wasn’t able to fall asleep again and for a moment she missed her own bed, even with Ed in it; exhaustion was beginning to set in heavy. Sadness crept in and she wondered how to get out of her situation. The truth of the matter was that she could no longer voice an opinion, not that her voice ever carried much weight, but the words of the ‘insane’ meant nothing to anyone in power.

/

There were enrichment programs at the facility that Carol found laughable, but she was forced to attend a recreation room activity the next day none the less.

Carol noted that the kind orderly who helped her was there and smiled to him from the craft table where she was being instructed to sew a pretty pattern into a handkerchief. He had given her a brazier and a soft cardigan to go with the same pale green gown that all the women had to wear. Apparently, the orderly was as good as his word. Carol was surprised that they were being allowed to touch sewing needles and for a moment she imagined driving one through some part of the nurse eyeing her suspiciously from her desk in the corner. Thoughts of hurting anyone, except for Ed, had never crossed her mind until then. Carol wondered how her mind would change from being in such a place. Perhaps half of the patients there had arrived perfectly sane and been driven to madness from exposure, it appeared that madness had rubbed off on most of the staff as well.

The one person she felt good about was Merle, he was determined to leave Valley View, he could see it for what it was.

“How are you feeling?”

She looked up from her ‘arts and crafts’ to see him smiling down at her and had it been anyone else she might have screamed _How the hell do you think I feel?_

“I’m alright, circumstances notwithstanding,” she sighed.

He knelt down next to her as if he was answering a question or taking a closer look at her stitching and whispered to her.

“Do they let you off the ward at all?”

“They said I can only go to the library on the third floor for now.”

“If you go behind the bookcase in the back left corner of the room, there’s a door. The key is inside the front cover of _Sons and Lovers_ by D.H Lawrence.”

“Where does the door lead?” she asked.

“You’ll see.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I want to talk to you alone. Go through the door after the plates are cleared at suppertime.”

“OK.”

“Better go,” he nodded.

Carol could feel the eyes of the head nurse on them and went back to her stitching as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

/

Back on the ward in the late afternoon, Carol stared out the window contemplating whether or not she was being duped by the kind stranger. It didn’t feel like that was likely, but her world had been turned upside down and she wasn’t 100% sure who to trust at the moment.

When supper was served, she could understand why all of the women around her were underweight. A plate of overcooked carrots, a measly tough piece of pork, and an ice cream scoop of lumpy potatoes with no gravy left her with no appetite whatsoever.

“Eat.”

A woman from the end of the table whispered the instruction to her without even looking up.

“What?”

“Eat, or they won’t like it. They’ll make you eat if you don’t do it yourself.”

“How can they make me eat?”

“You really are new, aren’t you?” the woman sighed. “You don’t decide anything here. You do as they say, or they will find a way to make it happen anyway.”

Carol didn’t see the point in arguing so she relented and ate the tasteless mush and leather-like meat on her plate. When the plates were cleared, Carol looked up to see the hands of the clock telling her that it was 6 pm, maybe he was already through that mysterious door awaiting her.

She went to the bathroom to splash water on her face and examined her face to estimate whether she still looked like her old self. Only two days in Valley View and the dehumanizing elements had left her feeling like a stranger in her own skin. Even with Ed, she was allowed to shower alone and make small decisions for herself. A living situation worse than living with Ed would have been almost unimaginable a week ago, but here she was.

Her face looked pale, but she was still mostly the woman who had been loaded into Valley View under the cover of night, while sedated. It was hard to get her mind around how people operated in such a place and treated other human beings like animals. What was it like to steadily become used to doing this to others? Or perhaps, some people were able to do these things without thinking at all. Maybe for some, it came easily.

/

The head nurse on Carol’s floor was Meredith Sampson and Carol knew that she wasn’t to be messed with after only one conversation where the woman didn’t smile once and informed her that broken rules had harsh consequences. Knowing exactly what those consequences were might have eased her mind a little, the fact that they were kept secret made her mind wander to even darker places.

Carol walked past the front desk where Meredith was making notes on a tablet of paper and almost wet herself when she was stopped.

“Where are you going?” Meredith snapped.

“Ma’am, I was just going to the library to read. May I please go?” she asked sweetly.

“Be back in one hour, do not be late.”

“I will. Thank you very much, Nurse Sampson.”

Keeping her nose clean was the only way to survive, that was evident and so that’s what she would do. Carol needed to get through the door that Merle had told her about, she needed to know what was on the other side.

Stepping through the door to a room they called the library, a huge dusty room with shelves of books but nobody reading. A patient was sat at a desk in the entryway and she nodded to them as she looked for the back, left corner that Merle had mentioned. She wondered if others knew about the door, was it a regular meeting spot for people?

Quickly, she located _Sons and Lovers_ and found a key as she was told she would. Her heart beat fast and she looked around to ensure nobody else was around before heading to the door.

The key slid into the lock, making a clicking sound as brass met brass.

“Damn it,” she whispered, desperate not to attract attention to herself. She needed to see what was behind the door, she needed to hear what the kind orderly had to say.

Turning the key, she let out a long slow breath and then pushed the door open, slipping inside so quickly that she didn’t see anything beyond the door until it closed behind her.

“Carol…”

It was his voice, but there was only darkness all around her.

“Merle?”


	4. Because You Asked Me To

_**Meet me tonight, you know the place...** _

**Chapter 4 (Because You Asked Me To)**

* * *

“Over here, I can’t turn on the light till we get to the stairwell.”

“Stairwell?”

“Yeah, take my hand,” he whispered.

She could hear the sound of his fingers moving along a stone wall toward her, so she touched the wall as well until their hands met.

“They’ll see the light under the door if I turn it on,” he explained and then pulled her by the hand toward a second door.

With the second door closed behind them, he reached up and pulled a string to turn on a light overhead.

“There,” he smiled. “Come on.”

“Wait. Where are we going?”

“The rooftop is the only place we can talk privately. I work as an orderly and in maintenance when they need me, or else I wouldn’t even know about this passageway.”

There were four flights of stairs spiralling up through dust and cobwebs. The rafters above her head, like the spine and ribs of a giant, appeared to be holding the massive structure in standing position.

He was still holding her hand as they reached the top landing and only let go as he fished for another key in his pocket.

“I should have told you to bring that cardigan, the wind is pretty brisk up here.”

“It’s OK,” she insisted, eager to hear what he had to say and unconcerned with the cold.

He shrugged out of his light coat and draped it over her shoulders before stepping out through the door onto a platform with iron fencing around it.

Carol’s eyes widened at the site of a massive bell tower inside the iron gate, she’d seen it from below, but it was nothing like being within touching distance.

“My Lord,” she breathed.

“It’s really something isn’t it?” he smiled.

“For such an ugly place, this sure is a beautiful view.”

He seemed to detect her need to get moving then and took a deep breath before beginning.

“I’ve been here for 6 months, I’m trying to make money to start my own business and they pay pretty OK here…but it’s not right what they do. I'm applying for work all over the place trying to find anything else.”

“What kind of business do you want to start?” she asked.

This information wasn’t important to her problem at that moment. She needed to get herself out of there and she didn’t have time to mess around, but she found herself wanting to know more about him. Merle was the one kind person she’d met in the last 3 years. Her whole life began to circle the drain after meeting Ed, but when her father was killed in an industrial accident, she had nobody left to rely on.

“I want to build houses,” he beamed. “I know a guy whose family works in the lumber industry out in BC, he said if I can get the thing off the ground, they’d supply the lumber for me at a rate I can afford.”

“You know how to do that?” she asked. “You can really build a house?”

“Been studyin’ that kind of thing for a long time. I read books about architecture and carpentry in my spare time…I got no money for university, so I do what I can. I built a cabin out at the lake in the summer for this man who manages a bank in Regina. He paid pretty well, but I still need more to start my own operation.”

“That’s amazing,” she smiled. “Nice to see a man with such ambition.”

“I want to make a good living, meet a nice girl and raise up some kids. I want it all,” he grinned.

Her face became sullen then as she thought back to her own girlhood dreams of a family contrasted with what she’d just done.

“I’m so sorry,” he jumped in, realizing how his words would sound to her.

“It’s OK.”

“I don’t care what anybody says around this place, Carol. If you did something like that then there must have been a good reason.”

“There was…my husband abuses me. I’ve been trying to think of a way to leave for a long time, but I just don’t know how I’d fend for myself. I guess none of that matters now, my life is essentially over.”

“I want to help you somehow, but I don’t know how…”

“If I stay here, I’ll surely go mad or off myself. I can’t bear it to be in this place already…it’s terrifying.”

“And you don’t even know the worst parts of this place yet,” he winced.

“Do I want to know?”

“No, but I have written down some things that it will help you to know. Valley View has a way of operating that new people don’t understand and this could help you avoid trouble until I can think of a way to get you out.”

“Get me out?” she grinned, and she took a folded piece of paper he handed her.

“I don’t know you…but I know you don’t belong here, so many people don’t but I don’t know how to help them all. I’m only one man and I’m only an orderly.”

“Why are you helping me?” she asked.

He looked at her in confusion then and she wondered why.

“Because you asked me to.”

“What?”

“Do you not remember it?” 

“No.”

“They brought you in at night at the end of my shift and they asked me to make sure there was nothing you could hurt yourself with in the room. You were in and out of consciousness and…undressed. When I saw that they left you that way it made me so angry. I lay a gown over you to cover you up and you opened your eyes and looked right at me for just a second. You begged me to help you.”

“I did?”

“Yes. I couldn’t sleep after that. I thought about it all night long. I heard what happened to you with that...operation that you had and I knew that you need someone on your side.”

“I really do need that…thank you.”

“You need to read the note and take heed of it, I don’t want any harm to come to you while I’m thinking of a way to get you out. Is there anywhere at all you can go? Any family in another city nearby?”

“No…but I’d find a way to make it if I could just get out.”

“No family at all?” he pressed.

“My mother died giving birth to me and my father died almost 3 years ago now…all I had was my husband and I’d die before I went back to him.”

“I’ll think of something,” he insisted. “When are you due back on the ward?”

“An hour.”

“Sampson is giving you a lot of time away, she doesn’t normally do that. Go back early and act completely natural and she’ll see that you’re trustworthy. Maybe we can use that trust against her in the future.”

“I’m putting all of my faith in you, Merle…you’re the only friend I have in this world.”

“I won’t let you down. I promised you that first night that I’d help you and I plan to keep that promise.”

“Even if I don't remember that you made it?” she smiled.

“I’d remember,” he said. “I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I didn't follow through.”

“Of all the people in the whole world for me to come upon,” she answered, her voice breaking with emotion. “I'm very grateful to meet you.”

Merle led her back inside where she handed him back his coat and said that she would return the key to _Sons and Lovers_ on the shelf.

“It’s going to be OK, Carol. There are ways to blend in here and disappear. The best thing you can do is go unnoticed for now. It’s all in the note.”

“Bless you.”

“When you've read the note, you need to get rid of it in a safe way where nobody will find it.”

“OK.”

“I’ll notify you somehow when we can meet like this again.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

“It was really nice talkin’ to you,” he smiled.

“It means a lot to me to be spoken to like a person…they take your humanity so quickly here.”

“Don’t let them break you, Carol. I’ll find a way soon. I promise.”


	5. You Have a Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I skipped a chapter. O_O I can't believe I did that. FUCK!  
> I was awaiting medical test results this week and had a brain fart. SORRY!  
> This is the real chapter 5 and Chapter 6 is the chapter that was previously here.  
> Oops! :/  
> Teagan xoxo

_**Meet me tonight, you know the place...** _

**Chapter 5 (You Have a Visitor)**

* * *

Mavis Stockton appeared the next morning on the women’s ward and sought Carol out for a chat to see how she was adjusting.

“Have you reconsidered your attitude, Carol?”

“I have. I understand that what I did was wrong and that I need help,” she said as sincerely as she could.

“I must say, I’m very surprised, but it’s very good to hear.”

“I had to search my soul a great deal, but it’s clear that I’m not well.”

“Well, I suppose you’re settling in quite well then.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Alright. I’ll check up in a week or so then. You can see one of our therapists when they have time.”

“Thank you, Ma’am.”

Dr. Stockton walked off with a look of bemusement and it tickled Carol far more than fighting her. The note from Merle had set her straight about Valley View. It was far worse than she’d thought.

Merle mentioned electroconvulsive therapy, insulin treatments, lobotomy, and all manner of restraints and cold-water therapy. Carol’s new lodgings were no place to be taken lightly and she shuddered at the way she had yelled at the doctor when they first met. What if they had used one of those ‘treatments’ on her then? Carol had heard from someone in town that they’d lock you in a padded room and put a straight jacket on you, but those things paled in comparison to lobotomies.

Merle instructed her to stay under the radar and follow all the rules, if she managed to do that then all she had to contend with were the other patients.

So far, nobody had spoken to her aside from telling her to eat and she was grateful for that. Carol didn’t want to become attached to anyone there.

It killed her to get rid of the note, but she tore it into tiny pieces and flushed them down the toilet with a pout on her lips at losing the only thing she had from a friend.

/

She was feeling like she had things under control by the next day. Merle came by her floor once or twice and smiled discreetly at her but left no sign of another meeting. Carol just liked to see him, he was like a breath of crisp spring air through the stale atmosphere of a tomb.

Everything felt manageable for a moment and she trusted that Merle would find a way to help her escape, and then she was hit by a curveball.

“Mrs. Peletier?”

“Yes?” she answered in a chipper voice before turning to see Ed standing next to the charge nurse.

Carol bit her tongue and remembered the things Merle had mentioned in the note, she didn’t want any of that 'treatment'.

“You have a visitor."

“Wonderful,” she smiled and walked over to the desk where the nurse led them to a room to speak in private.

Carol couldn’t lose it with him, even in private, so she steeled herself against anything he would say to her.

“Carol, I’ve thought about this long and hard. I’m prepared to forgive you, but I think you need to stay here and think for a little longer about what you’ve done. I am hearing it all over town about my evil wife, it hasn’t been easy.”

“I’m very sorry about that.”

“You are?”

“Yes. I made a mistake…I should never have betrayed you that way.”

“Well, this is unexpected. I thought you’d be madder than a wildcat to see my face.”

“Not at all…I’ve had time to think and I feel calm and rational about this,” she smiled. “I am very sorry about what I did, though, make no mistake.”

“This place seems to be good for you, Carol.”

“I think so too.”

“But you’d like to come home still?” he asked and for a moment she almost believed it could be different. Maybe he did love her after all.

“Of course, my darling,” she answered, pooling all her strength not to claw his eyes from his skull.

“That makes me so happy, Carol. I was livid for a couple of days about what you did…it made me ill to be fair. But I do miss you.”

“Come back for me when you think it’s time, dear,” she said softly.

“I have a week away on sales calls, but perhaps when I get back, I can fix up the house a little for you and pick you up then.”

“Sounds wonderful.”

“I could lay that new linoleum in the kitchen for you maybe.”

The honeymoon periods with Ed were so over the top that they worked on her more than once. He could be impossibly sweet at times. It made his dark side seem even darker and she knew that this was not the true him, maybe there was no ‘true Ed’. Maybe he was just one false mask after another.

“You spoil me,” she smiled. “It means so much to me that you forgive me, darling.”

“Perhaps it wasn’t the time for us to have a child,” he admitted. “Don’t ever tell anyone I said such a thing. I don’t agree with what you did…but perhaps there’s a silver lining in there.”

“Perhaps.”

He kissed her then, and she gave in to it completely. She was going to be free but getting there wouldn’t be a picnic.

###########

It felt as though she had been there a lifetime already and she understood what Merle had said about the place changing a person quickly. Living on the outside already felt like a faraway concept and it had only been a couple of days.

Her days dragged without purpose from sun up to sundown. There was the odd activity and if you had been there a while, you’d be given a job. There was a kitchen that served over 3000 people, so manual and free labour was necessary. There were also some farm animals on the huge plot of land, cows, pigs and chickens for eggs and eating. A large garden in the summer provided vegetables to be canned and fruits to be made into jam. In many ways, it could have been a great place, but nobody in charge saw the patients as human and thus, it could only ever be hell despite the window dressing.

Carol steeped in anger, just recalling the way she had knuckled under to Dr. Stockton and to Ed, but she believed in Merle and so she could bear it. Merle would help her escape and it would all be worth it.

She encountered him at the end of his shift that night and he slipped her a piece of paper right before evening checks. She had been offered pills on her first few nights there and swallowed them as instructed, not realizing that there was an alternative. They were to ‘calm’ her, but they didn’t help her sleep on the crowded ward with 40 women, many of whom weren’t mentally well.

In the latest note from Merle, he explained how to slide the pills under her tongue, or how to bring them back up if she was forced to swallow them for real. He asked her to meet him the next afternoon an hour before supper was served and the place was especially busy, nobody would notice she was gone.

She planned to tell him about her performance with Dr. Stockton and Ed. Carol had a feeling he’d be impressed by her acting and try even harder to help her get out. She wanted him to know that she was deadly serious and would do anything he asked to break out. At 23, she had a long life ahead of her and wasn’t about to let this be the end of it all, this couldn’t be the last chapter of her life. Carol had considered giving up and ending her life, and if it weren’t for Merle, she would still be making those plans.


	6. A Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FUCKED UP THE ORDER OF CHAPTERS 5 AND 6. PLEASE GO BACK AND READ THE REAL CHAPTER 5 BEFORE READING THIS. UGH. HAD A STRESSFUL WEEK WAITING FOR MEDICAL TEST RESULTS. SORRY!!!

_**Meet me tonight, you know the place...** _

**Chapter 6 (A Plan)**

* * *

Carol was still counting her blessings for the cardigan from Merle on the chilly ward and staring at a group of residents attempting to play a card game when she realized it was time to ‘go to the library’. She had disposed of the second note and hated that she had to, she liked just looking at the words he'd written on the paper.

“Nurse Sampson, may I go to the library, please.”

“Be back in an hour, no later.”

“Yes, Ma’am, thank you.”

“Take Gillian with you though.”

“Pardon me?” she squeaked.

This was putting a wrench in the works. Who was Gillian?

“Right over there, she won’t be any trouble.”

Carol walked toward the elderly woman in the corner and sighed.

“Did you want to go to the library, Gillian?”

“Who are you?” the woman sneered.

“Another patient here, my name is Carol. Did you want to go to the library with me?”

“I don’t like the look of you. What did they tell you about me?”

“Nothing, Ma’am.”

The woman got up suddenly and pushed Carol to the ground to run past her.

“Nurse Sampson!” Carol called. “I don’t think she’s going to come!”

The woman was apprehended by an orderly and dragged to a ‘quiet room’ with the padded walls for a break and Carol was allowed to go on alone.

She sighed as she made her way down the hall to the library and quickly found the book and the key she needed.

On the other side of the door was the one person on earth she wanted to see.

“You made it,” he smiled.

“Almost didn’t, Nurse Sampson asked me to bring someone, but they had a meltdown and couldn’t come.”

“I’m glad you made it,” he nodded, still smiling at her and then he headed up the stairs ahead of her.

“I spoke to Dr. Stockton and I did as you instructed in the note. I was absolutely compliant…my husband came as well.”

“He what?”

“He showed up to visit and tell me that he was willing to forgive me for my sin.”

“They let him in after what you told them?”

“This is what it’s like to be a woman. I’ve told a few people about the way he treated me, and nobody cares.”

“Who did you tell?”

“My priest, my doctor, and a neighbour lady across the street.”

“What’s wrong with the world?” he sighed and then used the second key for the door to the roof.

“I acted as though everything were OK though, I didn’t yell or act angry in any way, just as you said to do.”

“That must have been very difficult.”

“I intend to get out of here. I don’t care what it takes.”

“I knew you were determined,” he smiled. “I admire that.”

“I wasn’t this hopeful until I met you,” she smiled. “Do you know how I can get out yet?”

There wasn’t much time to kill and she needed some answers.

“I was thinking that if I can get you working in the laundry, then it’s an easier way to sneak you out. We do laundry for a few businesses in Weyburn, and I drive it back to town when it’s finished in big carts on wheels…I could sneak you inside one of them I think.”

“Really?” she grinned.

“Yeah, I think so. We tend to the laundry in the underground passages and it’s a great place to go unnoticed. I have a little money I could give you to take a bus somewhere. I could buy you the ticket and everything, but I don’t know where you’d go when you don’t know anyone.”

“That is a problem,” she sighed. “But if I could only get out of here, I’m sure I’d find some way to survive.”

“You’re right, the first step is to get you out. You could always hide out at my house until you make a plan.”

“Really?”

“I always keep my promises.”

“You’re one of a kind, Merle Dixon.”

“Well, so are you.”

She was taken aback by the statement and it started her mind thinking.

Was there a future for her with someone new?

Someone like Merle?

“I’m helping you because I made a promise to you…but also because I like you.”

“But you hardly know me,” she broached in a soft voice.

“I know, but there’s something about the way you looked at me that first night…and the way that you smile when I come onto the ward.”

“I do get excited to see you,” she confessed.

“Because I’m helping you?” he asked.

“Not only that…I like you too.”

“I’m going to get you on laundry duty as soon as I can, they are desperate for people down there and Nurse Sampson seems to trust you already.”

“Thank you.”

“I bet I could get you called down there for training tomorrow and then it’s just a matter of picking our moment,” he smiled.

“You are the most incredible man I ever met,” she sighed.

Merle reached out his hand to her then and she took it happily. The thrill of touching the hand of a man who actually cared for her was enough to make the bleakness of her life bearable.

At the bottom of the stairs, he pulled her close to hug her and she melted into his embrace, almost weeping at the warmth of him, both physically and emotionally. Merle handed her another note as he let go and she wondered what extra information she might need.

“More instructions?” she smiled.

“This one is just a note,” he shrugged, "just because.”

“Oh,” she smiled. “Thank you.”

They parted ways before the second door and she listened for a moment to hear if anyone was in the library, hardly anyone ever went there for some unknown reason. Carol opened the note quickly and read it before heading back.

I don't care what it takes, I'll get you out and then maybe we could spend some time together. I'd love more time just to be alone with you, I like you so much already. Hope I'm not being too forward but I can't seem to stop thinking of you. Please, don't lose hope.

Carol picked a book from the shelf and signed it out before returning to the ward, she had to make her visits to the library seem real. She imagined tearing up this latest note and flushing it and almost cried at the thought. Instead, she tucked it inside her bra along the left inner side of her breast, as close as it could get to her heart.

############

“I have another worker for the laundry,” he said casually to his supervisor when he returned to the basement.

Merle could still see the hope in her sky-blue eyes and feel the softness of her body against his, she was overtaking his mind since he first saw her. She had pulled him so close, like she needed him just to keep breathing.

“Who?”

“A new woman on 3 West, she’s another one that’s not even insane, she’d be useful down here.”

“This place is full of sane people,” his supervisor laughed.

“Don’t I know it? It’s damn depressing, ain’t it?”

“I’ll clear it with Sampson, but you have to train her on ironing with the pressing machine. I’m busy tomorrow.”

“No problem. Thanks, man.”

Merle headed home that night, pulling his truck out of the parking lot and toward the long tree-lined path to the highway. He was hopeful and yet there was no good plan for when he got her out of the hospital. Carol was married to a violent man, and he had no money to get her away from there and actually on her feet. Merle had been born and raised in Weyburn and out of the blue, he was ready to leave just to get her somewhere safe.

He would never forget the way her eyes burned into his and the way her hands gripped his shirt as she begged him to save her. A strange sexual urge mingled with human compassion in that one moment and he knew that against all odds, he had to be her man.

  
  



	7. Rage

_**Meet me tonight, you know the place...** _

**Chapter 7 (Rage)**

* * *

She opened her eyes to a nurse’s aid folding sheets in the corner and informing her that she was wanted at the nurse’s station.

“Carol, you’re being called to speak with Nurse Sampson.”

She pulled the cardigan from Merle over her shoulders, it was great for hiding the contraband bra and made her way to the desk.

“You wanted me,” she smiled brightly.

“You have been selected to work down in the laundry facility. Do you feel capable of that? You haven’t been here long, and I don’t typically trust new people so far from the ward. Can I trust you, Carol?”

“Of course, Ma’am. I feel very settled here and I’m not looking to make waves.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Mr. Dixon will be by in a few minutes to take you down. Go eat your porridge quickly before you go.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

/

“That went really smoothly,” he grinned when they were alone together in the tunnels below the massive facility.

“I could never thank you enough for this,” she sighed. “I know I’ll be free now…I can feel it.”

“You will,” he agreed. “All I need to do is get you in the laundry truck next time I go.”

“When is that?” she asked eagerly.

“Day after tomorrow.”

“I’m so nervous.”

“Don’t be, you’re going to be fine. I promise you that.”

“You’re a great man.”

“I don’t know about all that, but thanks.”

“You’ll do great things in this world. You’re going to start that business you want, I can see it already. You’re going to build beautiful homes for people and marry the girl of your dreams,” she smiled warmly.

“I know that I’ll manage in life either way, it’s your future I’m worried about.”

“I was worried too, but if a man like you still exists in this world then my faith is renewed.”

Merle showed her how to operate the massive pressing machine that ironed all the sheets and towels and she took to it like a natural. She spent a great deal of her time with tasks like ironing in her old life. Ed insisted on a spotless home and having every cloth item in the home ironed.

She worked for most of the day before being called back to the ward and she realized how much freedom the laundry gave her, If she did escape via the laundry truck in the morning, they might not even call her back until late afternoon. Freedom was so close.

/

The women on Carol’s ward regarded her with apathetic nonchalance. Nobody cared that she was there or about much else. So many of the women had been snatched from there lives and committed to this place and from the looks in many of their eyes, had given up long ago.

A world where you could sign away the life of your spouse for any reason you invented for your own convenience was a hopeless one in Carol’s opinion. It wasn’t until she ended up in this position herself that she felt the need to speak up and do something, but that’s often how these things began. When the problem was yours, it very quickly mattered.

She lay on her bed that night, one woman in the row, just another body, and wondered where Merle was then. She closed her eyes and saw his handsome face, the warm smile and blue eyes that seemed to see right through to her very soul. She wanted to touch his face, to come in close and lay a kiss on his lips, just to see what it felt like. He would be the kind of man to make love slow, to do everything he could to make a woman feel loved. Carol imagined him being the type to read a woman a poem, to bring her flowers, to kiss her forehead while making love.

The beginning of a late-night meltdown on that ward brought her back to reality and away from her thoughts of Merle, but he lingered in her mind and came to her in her dreams that night…

  
  


“ _ **You made it.”**_

_**He was in the stairwell awaiting her, a huge smile on his face just to see her. Carol recognized that it was a dream but didn’t care. She only hoped she could get somewhere beautiful in her mind before being awoken.** _

“ _ **Merle…I don’t know what I’d do without your friendship in this place. I didn’t want to keep living till you spoke to me.”**_

“ _ **Don’t you dare go anywhere,” he smiled through her own thoughts.**_

“ _ **I wish I could tell you how you make me feel…I wish I was free to do that.”**_

“ _ **You are, Carol. Tell me.”**_

“ _ **You make me feel wild. You make me want to run away with you and never look back.”**_

“ _ **Then that’s what we’ll do. We’ll run away where none of them will ever find us.”**_

_**He was touching her then, laying his hands on her shoulders and she could feel the warmth through her clothing, smell the scent of his skin; clean and masculine.** _

  
  


“Carol. Carol, time to get up.”

“Hmmm?” she muttered as her eyes opened.

“The doctor wants to see you in the exam room,” a nurses aid informed her.

“I already saw Dr. Stockton,” she explained.

“This is the medical doctor, not the psychiatrist. His name is Dr. Webster.”

“What for?”

“He wants to examine you after your...mishap. Do not keep him waiting.”

She winced and walked down the hallway to a room labelled 'Exam Room' and noticed a middle-aged man sitting behind a desk.

“Hello?”

“Mrs. Peletier. Remove your underthings and lay down on the table for me,” he said without so much as a greeting.

“I'm OK, doctor. I'm not bleeding or feeling unwell at all,” she assured him although she didn't really expect it to make a difference. She thought of the note still tucked into her bra and began to have a panic attack.

“Up on the table,” he repeated.

Carol slid her panties down her legs and folded them to lay them upon a chair in the corner of the room before laying down on the cold steel table.

For almost five minutes, Carol couldn't move or breathe or protest. Her mind went blank with rage. The doctor mentioned to her that he had examined her at the hospital while she was drugged. He told her that she was very attractive...he touched her against her wishes. This was war.

Carol wanted blood, she wanted to kill Dr. Webster and only thoughts of Merle stopped her from losing control. She was instructed to get fully dressed again as her hands shook with raging anger. Thank God he hadn't forced her to remove her gown, he would have surely found the letter for Merle. Carol knew the letter had to go now and she would get rid of it as soon as possible despite wanting to keep it more than anything.

“I'll be back in a week to examine you again, Mrs. Peletier. Everything looks just fine,” he winked and she had to hold in her vomit until she was in the bathroom. She only nodded her head and left the room like nothing was out of the ordinary. She was frozen with anger but couldn't show it.

Carol decided that she would be with Merle come hell or high water and nothing would stop her. Nothing. Carol wanted to burn the whole place to the ground...


	8. I Hope You're Dead

_**Meet me tonight, you know the place...** _

**Chapter 8 (I Hope You're Dead)**

* * *

The next day, early in the morning, she would be leaving Valley View in a laundry cart with Merle. After her ‘examination’ with the doctor, Carol had to actively fight the urge to scream and hurt someone just to vent the anger. When Merle set foot on the ward, it took only one look for him to know something had happened.

He nodded for her to follow him down a hallway where Nurse Sampson wouldn’t see them talking.

“What happened?”

“I can’t even say,” she whispered.

Carol’s hands trembled and her voice started to crack.

“Tell me who hurt you,” Merle demanded.

“The doctor…he touched me…but I couldn’t stop him. I didn't want to be punished and have someone find the note,” she whimpered.

“That bastard!” he snapped, in a louder voice than he should have.“Wait, you still have the note I gave you?” he whispered.

“It’s all I have now…it’s special to me.”

“Please get rid of it.”

“I know, I will. I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK…I just can’t have anything happen to you.”

“Can I still leave tomorrow?” she begged.

“Yes. But you need to lay low until then.”

“I'm trying."

“Iknow it's not easy. I better go, but meet me tonight, you know the place.”

“OK,” she grinned.

“We’re gonna get away from here, Carol. You’re gonna be free tomorrow, no matter what.”

He looked up and down the hallway and then kissed her so quickly that she questioned if it even happened. Then he was gone.

################

“How is it working with the new girl?” Jeffery asked.

Jeffery was the manager in charge of the laundry and Merle liked him well enough, but he wasn’t trusting anyone with the Carol situation.

“Fine.”

“She not working down here today?”

“Nope. Tomorrow, I think. She had to see the doctor today.”

“That creep? Poor girl.”

“Yeah.”

“You taking the deliveries of clean uniforms in the morning then?” Jeffery asked.

“I always do, don’t I?”

“Just thought maybe you wanted a break from it.”

“Nah, I like to leave the grounds for a few hours.”

“Alrighty then, see ya later kid.”

“Yep.”

Merle moved through the motions of his day and thought about the next morning, how sweet it would be to take her away from all this. Carol hadn’t backed away when he kissed her, she even smiled when it happened. Merle imagined taking her away and bringing her to his place to be alone. Maybe they’d kiss some more, maybe she’d agree to stay with him.

/

It was a long day and Merle was anxious for the morning when he could keep his promise to Carol. He finished up his day by doing his orderly rounds and seeing if any of the wards were having issues before shift change. On the women’s ward of 3 west, he found that a woman had been placed in the holding cell. It was Carol.

Merle had to know what it was about, so he casually started to chat up Meredith at the counter.

“Hey there,” he grinned. “What did the new one do anyway?”

“She was caught flushing a note down the toilet.”

“What did it say?”

“Nobody knows, it was wet before they apprehended her.”

“What are they doing with her now?”

“I guess she’s in a heap of trouble, Dr. Stockton is coming down to discipline her personally.”

“Must be serious,” he commented.

“I guess she told a staff member to drop dead when they caught her. She fought back while they were putting her in the cell, kicked and screamed like a madwoman. Dr. Stockton fell for her head games, but I had a feeling she was devious from the start," Meredith smirked.

“What do you think Stockton will do?” Merle asked.

“She’s violent, what else can we do with her? Shocks would be my guess. It’ll calm her down and then maybe they can send her home to her husband.”

“Yeah…maybe.”

That was it. That was all Merle had to hear. He had to act and fast. There was one room on the first floor where they did shocks, and he had cleared the room after one such session. It was that day that he knew he had to leave and that the people running the institution were pure evil masquerading as medical saviours.

Merle didn’t leave at the end of his shift, instead, he went up to the roof to think and to plan.

/

Carol was collected by orderlies, hours after being tossed in the tiny discipline room at the end of the hallway of the women’s ward.

“Where are you taking me?” she squeaked as they began to drag her toward the door.

“For treatment,” one answered dryly.

“What kind of treatment? Please don’t do this.”

“Don’t worry about it, lady. They are doctors, they know what you need.”

“No they don’t…please don’t let them mess with my mind…help me.”

She was struggling against them as she imagined being electrocuted and the panic set in.

“You gotta calm down or we’ll have to give you a shot.”

“I’m telling you I’m not sick…help me.”

Dr. Stockton appeared in the hallway next to Dr. Webster and she began to weep.

“I had high hopes for you, Mrs. Peltier, but lying won’t be tolerated here. You need to learn that treatment is the only option.”

“I know that…I’m sorry. The note was nothing, I swear it was nothing at all. Just a love note from my husband.”

“Then why flush it?”

“I don’t know…just please don’t do this to me…whatever you’re going to do.”

“It’s too late for that now, Carol. Manipulation is a serious character flaw and you show aggression that will only cause you more trouble in life. I was led to believe that it was your husband with the temper but this makes me wonder now."

"I won't be like that again. I'm sorry," she continued. "I was just scared."

"Have you got this covered, doctor?” Dr. Stockton asked of the monster next to her. “I’m going to head home early tonight.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Dr. Webster nodded with a grin.

/

The table was covered in paper and a bright light over her head blinded her. Her hands were secured at her sides and her ankles were restrained. Carol felt like she was being murdered and it was legal somehow.

Only the doctor was present, and he had all the power in the world. She wondered where Merle was and if she’d even recognize his face after they fried her brain with electricity. Would she ever be the same? Would it kill her?

“This isn’t so bad, and it will help to calm you down,” the doctor explained.

“I’ll do anything,” she begged. “I’ll do anything you like if you just don’t do this…I’ll make you feel so good.”

It was all she had and all she could do to save herself.

“Is that right?” he grinned.

“Anything you want…anything at all…you had me so hot earlier today…let’s finish what we started. I’ll never breathe a word.”

“You want to please me, do you?”

“I could make you so happy…I want to,” she insisted.

“Well…maybe if you get me off, we could skip this," he chuckled.

“I’ll get you off, I will,” she begged.

“I need to give you at least one shock though or Stockton will know I didn’t do it…it leaves marks on your temples.”

“Jesus Christ! Please don’t! I’ll fuck you…I’ll fuck you if you don’t do this! You can have me whenever you like!”

She was desperate and crying down the sides of her face now, but he wasn’t swayed.

“Nah, she’ll know that I didn’t do it and then I’ll lose my job. I’ll only give you a little, it won’t even hurt that much and then I can make you feel better,” he grinned.

“No…oh my God no…please, Jesus help me!” she prayed.

A piece of rubber was placed between her teeth and her head was restrained against the table with a piece of leather like a belt.

There was no ability to beg now, all the negotiations were over. A machine was turned on and a dull hum filled the room as electrical current charged up to the correct voltage.

“One round of this and then I’ll make you feel nice,” he said.

Carol closed her eyes and waited for it to happen. Her entire body trembled, and her hands were balled into tight fists at her sides.

She heard a dull crack and then felt warm liquid on her forehead, it was blood. Opening her eyes to see the stunned expression of the doctor above her was the last thing she expected.

Carol couldn’t speak, but her eyes darted around the room for answers when she heard the doctor slump to the ground.

Merle appeared and began to unfasten her restraints and she sobbed uncontrollably to see his face.

“Sorry I’m late, honey…let’s get you out of here. I think I might have killed that prick.”

When she was able to sit up and swing her legs over the edge of the table, she eyed a blood-stained fire extinguisher that had been used to clobber the sadistic doctor but it wasn't enough. Carol kicked him so hard in the guts that her foot throbbed instantly but she couldn't stop kicking.

"I hate you. I hate you...you will never touch me again! I hope you're dead! You bastard! I hope you're dead!" she growled.

"Shhh!" Merle insisted. "We aren't out of this yet. Come on, honey. Come on," he urged.

Merle took her hand and she was pulled out the door and down a dark corridor toward the basement which was the only option for an escaped patient and an orderly who may have just killed a man.

  
  



	9. Free

_**Meet me tonight, you know the place...** _

**Chapter 9 (Free)**

* * *

Her legs felt like jello as Merle pulled her down one darkened corridor after another and then out into the cool night air.

“Come on,” he pleaded when she paused for a moment to gather her thoughts.

She was shuffled into a vehicle and before she knew it, they were moving.

“I’m out,” she muttered.

“Yeah,” he panted, "and we’re never going back…I might have killed that bastard.”

“Merle…you saved me,” she whimpered. “Thank you so much.”

“I couldn’t let it happen to you. I never should have stayed there while it happened to anyone…I just didn’t have any power.”

“Merle, you’re a good man. It’s them that have lost the plot. They’re all deranged to think they’re actually helping anyone.”

“Amen to that.”

He drove on through the black night further south to where trees began to obscure the road a little.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“We can go to the cabin I built…the man I built it for only wanted it for hunting and he won't be back for months. At least we could gather our thoughts and rest.”

/

He drove winding through the trees on dirt roads as the first heavy snow began to fall. Heavy flakes clumped together began to hit the windshield and Carol looked over at his hands gripping the wheel, her saviour.

Finally, they pulled up at a cabin, barely visible in the dark of the woods without a streetlight for a hundred miles.

“You built this?” she gasped.

It wasn’t large but the craftsmanship was notable and it was a beautiful A-frame design.

“I sure did…took the better part of 4 months, but it was my first structure,” he sighed. “Let’s get inside.”

“And you’re sure the man isn’t here?”

“I’m sure, and I doubt he’d mind anyway, he’s a friend of mine.”

Carol was led inside the small cabin and sat down on a chair by the door as he built a fire to take the chill out of the air. There was no heating and if they were going to get any rest, a fire was necessary.

/

Merle had a roaring fire going in the fireplace in only half an hour and then there was a moment of silence.

Carol looked at his handsome face as shadows of flames danced across his skin and she loved him more than she'd ever loved anyone.

“You saved my life,” she said simply.

“I just had to. I’ll never forget the way you looked at me that first night...it was like you knew me, like I was meant to be there with you in that moment.”

“You were. Nobody else would have helped me, no one else ever has.”

Merle moved closer to her then and knelt at her feet with the flames of the fire crackling behind him.

“We’re going to have to keep running. I might be a murderer; I don’t even know yet.”

“I’m sorry it came to this. I tried to stay calm when they caught me but it just never ends in there...they keep pushing and pushing until they break you down and-”

“Hey, I understand. I wouldn't have lasted half as long as you did. I'm not the least bit disappointed in you, Carol.”

“I just want you to know that I tried.”

“I know that, honey. Come here,” he said, wrapping his arms around her to urge her head onto his shoulder. “I ain't gonna let anything happen to you.”

“Merle?”

“Yeah?”

Carol turned her head and found her lips so close to his and there was no more need for words, he was a smart man.

Merle kissed her soft and gentle and every painful memory took flight and flew from her mind. There was only peace in her heart for the first time in years.

He lay his hand on her cheek and she smiled against his lips for a moment. Every nerve in Carol's body lit up when he turned his head and she could feel his tongue against hers...Ed never kissed her this way. Merle was so gorgeous and so desirable that she couldn't help what she wanted to do. Carol wanted to go all the way, she wanted to be his and only his.

“You make me feel wild,” she whispered. “You make me want to take risks.”

“You too,” he grinned. “I just walked away from my whole life for this one kiss...how's that for risky behaviour?”

They sat before the fire in the little cabin he'd built with his own two hands and she was in a heaven of her own making. Carol felt his hands moved to her waist and she gave in to him completely. His crisp white shirt and pants contrasted by her pale green patient's gown made it almost comical, what they were doing, but it was beautiful madness.

Merle came ever closer until she naturally lay back on the floor beneath him and she wasn't at all afraid. After everything she'd been through, she knew that Merle was a man she could trust, a man who would listen to her and respect her wishes.

“I'm not going too fast, am I?” he asked. “Are you in any pain after...”

He couldn't say the word abortion and she couldn't blame him for that, it wasn't a pretty thing to talk about.

“No, I'm OK,” she assured him. “I feel fine now.”

“Good. I'm glad.”

“I'm just so grateful to be away from there...I'm looking forward to the future now,” she smiled. “Thanks to you.”

“Was my pleasure,” he crooned into her neck as he moved over her once more.

She felt one of his thighs between her knees and lust rose up inside her like she'd never known. Carol wanted him so badly it radiated all throughout her core.

The cabin was so silent and dark except for the firelight flickering around them. The mood was just right for love, for life.

“It might be irresponsible of me, but I want you so badly,” she confessed as her lips met with his bear neck just below his ear.

“We were meant to meet each other, Carol. I was meant to help you and right now...we're meant to make love. I can feel it in my bones...you're the only one for me.”

“Damn...”

/

Merle moved his hands down her body to her legs and she gave in to him completely with a sweet sigh and her hands clinging to the front of his white work shirt.

“Take me,” she pleaded.

He began on the buttons of her patients uniform and thought back to the night they met, how much he had wanted her and how hard he searched for a bra for her so that she could be more comfortable.

Now his hands were moving over that bra and he was kissing her chest.

Carol started pulling at his buttons and moving her legs in a way that suggested she wanted him right there as close as possible to her body.

/

Merle did everything right, he undressed her slowly, kissed her everywhere and asked if he could taste her in a low sexy growl that no woman could refuse. Ed said this kind of thing was for heathens and maybe he was right, because Merle Dixon's tongue upon her womanhood had to be a sin. He licked so soft at first and increased the pressure and tension over time. The warmth and wetness of his lips and tongue sent her to the edge where she only teetered for a minute or so before falling.

She looked up at the ceiling where shadows of flames frolicked above her and let go in a silent scream of ecstasy when it got to be too much. He took her hand as she reached down to touch his hair and held it til she was finished squirming.

He was just as she thought, he held her head in the crook of his arm and kissed her forehead as he entered her and she felt him everywhere. The sweet pressure inside her and the way he looked over her, Carol was never this happy or even aware that this level of happiness was possible.

He made love to her for a good 20 minutes, slow and steady and as he did he spoke words so pure and filled with love that she knew she'd never forget it. He promised to always take care of her, to build her a beautiful home, and that together they would fill it with children.

“I love you,” she breathed into his chest as he came apart. “I'll always love you.”

/

They fell asleep instantly afterwards but he was up with the early morning light.

“Hey there, sunshine,” he smiled as she opened her eyes for the first time in her new life.

“Hey.”

“I've been thinking.”

“Already?” she grinned.

“I've been up for an hour now just watching you sleep and thinking and I think we should hop the border.”

“Really?”

Weyburn wasn't far from the US border but she didn't know anything about crossing it illegally or how to make a life for herself there.

“They’ll never find us down there. My brother lives in North Dakota and we could stay with him a while till we get on our feet.”

She thought about it for all of five seconds.

“I’d follow you anywhere,” she smiled. “I still can’t believe I’m free…there’s nothing we can’t do now.”

“I’ll start my business, maybe my brother will join me with it and then we could be married. I’ll take care of you, honey, as long as we live.”

“And you're sure about this?” she smiled.

“Of course, ever since that first night. You’re the most beautiful woman I ever met, and I won’t be happy unless it’s me keeping you safe from now on.”

“I never knew that I could be happy. I can’t even express to you how dark and miserable my life was up until now.”

“I can only imagine. I don’t want you to dwell on that though. There won’t be anything but happiness ahead for you. That’s all that matters now.”

“Valley View is like hell on Earth and yet it’s where I found you…life is a funny thing.”

“It sure is. So, did you want to get going now or tomorrow?”

“Whenever you want to. How far is it to your brother’s place?”

“Just gotta cross the border and then it’s about 2 hours. We could be there by morning.”

“Let’s go now. I need to leave this place behind sooner than later. I can't take a chance of us getting caught.”

“Good plan. I’m gonna be good to you, Carol.”

“And I’ll be good to you.”

They were out of the country fast and meeting up with Merle’s brother in Minot, North Dakota by the next morning. They had nothing to their name. Carol didn’t even have a change of clothes, but she was free, and she had love.

They heard that Dr. Webster was alive, but had brain damage that would preclude him from practicing medicine again. Carol was very happy to know he'd never have power over a patient again the way he had over her.

Years later, Carol felt secure enough to speak out against the system that imprisoned her and so many others. She fought for years with Merle by her side to change the laws that allowed people to discard human beings they found inconvenient and after many years, the mental health system improved. For Merle and Carol, it was a lifelong battle and they never forgot what she'd been through.

It still isn’t perfect today, but through the suffering of many thousands of patients, lessons were learned, and reformation of the broken system became possible.

_**The End** _

  
  



End file.
